“Kids are seen and not heard.” “Because I said so.” “Do as I say, not as I do.” “This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.” These are just a few phrases that you may have heard growing up or may have even used yourself.
Or do you remember losing your temper and patience as your kid is having a full out tantrum in the middle of the target aisle (wooooh I just had to deal with this last month).
Us as parents can feel overwhelmed, exhausted, embarrassed as our kids are not gentle kidding which then triggers us to act in ways that are not always the most effective. Gentle parenting or as I would like to call it is Intentional parenting.
You probably are asking,”Well what the hell is Gentle/Intentional Parenting?”
It’s when you parent with empathy, respect, calmness and gentle energy. It’s when your kid is yelling “No” and getting ready to make you late for work but you are still continuing to regulate your OWN mood as the parents and not yelling and screaming.
Trust me, this is very hard to do..and if you are anything like me and have a toddler I’m praying for you and giving you a few tips that have helped me:
- When triggered by your kids actions take deep breaths or take a time out to regulate your mood
- Try not to engage in a “NOoooo” battle. The battle where your toddler yells NO to everything you tell him to do.
- Create routine that has extra time built in, just in case your toddler has a “moment”
- Unsubscribe to those old sayings that you may say or remember hearing when you were a kids and think about how they made you feel
- During down time, think about what sets you off about your childs “bad behaviors”
- Be consistent even when others don’t believe in the concept
You got this! Just remember this approach is hard because it’s breaking generational patterns. It’s helping you create healthy boundaries with your children and teaching them healthy communication, boundaries and that their feelings matter.
